you can call me Bez

twitter.com/callmebez
Tue Feb 9

OVERHEARD IN NY

a guy was singing along to his music on the subway platform. here are some lyrics I overheard:

  • sex, sex and violence
  • SEX! AND VIOLENCE!
  • [scream] SEX. AHHHHHH. SEX!
  • you will bleed for me
  • sex, sex and violence
  • you drink my putrid sperm
  • MURDER!
  • [quietly] Thanks for coming to the show everybody. Stay true.

cool song.

Mon Feb 8

jaydensmommie asked: I need a hug too. OMG! LETS HUG EACH OTHER!!

thanks for the hugs, innernet homies. I pretended every heart was a bear hug. (or bare, if you like that better). 

give Jaydensmommie some innernet hugs, too.

I need a hug.

Fri Feb 5
Hi. I’m Calvin. I was adopted by a very nice family, after a different family didn’t want me once they found out I have one undescended testicle. I like to take long naps on the couch, then run REALLY FAST. I eat my food so quickly that sometimes I barf. Last month I ate over 4 feet of copper wire and got my stomach pumped at the vet. :( You should come over sometime, I’ll lick you feet AND your face!

Hi. I’m Calvin. I was adopted by a very nice family, after a different family didn’t want me once they found out I have one undescended testicle. I like to take long naps on the couch, then run REALLY FAST. I eat my food so quickly that sometimes I barf. Last month I ate over 4 feet of copper wire and got my stomach pumped at the vet. :(

You should come over sometime, I’ll lick you feet AND your face!

 Hellooooo ladies

 Hellooooo ladies

text outbox (3)

-I just cried in a Fedex in the Bronx after spening 1.25 hours there only to find that I left my wallet at home so I can’t get my package.

-how’s the DMV?

-WHAT. you broke my brain. SO JEALOUS I didn’t see that creepy old man.

-can I have some of the tomato and onion in your fridge?

Thu Feb 4

adult acne

  • BEZ: Does this super-pink lipstick distract attention away from the zits all over my chin?
  • SISTER: Nope, it highlights them.
Wed Feb 3
I guess it makes sense that the Christmas Monster is sitting atop a tiger’s face.

I guess it makes sense that the Christmas Monster is sitting atop a tiger’s face.

lookatthisfuckinghipster: “Two iPads, please.”  I saw this guy a couple weeks ago. He’s even better in the winter (he wears more chains).

lookatthisfuckinghipster:

“Two iPads, please.”

 I saw this guy a couple weeks ago. He’s even better in the winter (he wears more chains).

Fri Jan 29

eoporto asked: Do you have lucky underwear? Can we go to happy hour again soon? Why are we so awesome?

I don’t own any underwear. I only wear Hammer pants, and you don’t WEAR underwear with Hammer pants.

Happy hour is every day. Join me at the alcove by the South entrance of the West 4th St subway station.

WE AWESOME CUZ WE IN THE PEN15 CLUB.